In which I catch up on some correspondence

Dear Ohio,

Thanks for a lovely weekend. You were so very nice and gracious that I hate to mention this one little thing, but could you do something about the roadkill? I'm still traumatized by the chunk of deer that I ran over Thursday night (and then screamed for a mile) and the drive back to Columbus brought three more deer, two coyotes, and a wide variety of small, smushed critters. Just, ew. Also, aaaaaahhhhhhh.

And this may just be a small-town quirk, but that thing where you turn off the traffic signals at 10 p.m.? Is weird. But I did love your ranch dressing. Thanks for that.

Kisses,
S.

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Dear UChaos,

Listen, I'm only telling you this because I'm your friend. You know you're super-cute and super-nice and super-cool, but you have, like, this reputation? Like, with other universities? They think you're like, mean and snobby and crazy. Now, I tried really hard this weekend to tell them that you're totally not like that, but for some reason they're kind of... scared?...of you. Did you, like, use to make fun of everyone else? I think that maybe you need to apologize to some people, because they would totally be your friend if they really knew you.

Just being honest because I love you,
S.

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Dear St. Happy U,

Thank you so much for finally being done with the quarter. Could you maybe talk to UChaos about this scheduling thing? Because I don't think they understand it.

Love,
S.