In which I catch up on some correspondence

Dear World,

You smell really bad. Please stop.

Love,
St. Eph

*****
Dear Campus Coffee Shop,

While I appreciate your committment to my hydration goals, I would rather carry around a single-serving size of bottled water, rather than the 50-gallon tanks you think I might need. Please let me have less than 20 oz of water at a time.

Love,
St. Eph

*****
Dear Chicago,

Why you gotta be so mean? Remember how happy we were back in the fall? When it didn't snow every goddamned day? When sometimes it was above freezing for more than an hour? Let's do that again sometime. Seriously, you're like the worst boyfriend in the world.

Love,
St. Eph

*****
Dear Spring,

I miss you. Please come back.

Love,
St. Eph

*****
Dear Winamp,

My name is St. Eph. You broke my Firefox. Prepare to be deleted.

Adieu,
St. Eph